vendredi 13 mai 2016
Ma dernière publication en anglais, j'espère que vous allez aimer. C'était pour mon dossier sur Edgar Allan Poe :)
My Wicked Reality
I
looked at the screen of my computer and I couldn't stop thinking
that it was the most beautiful thing in the world. Here, I could be whenever I
want, and could do whatever I want. No one here to blame me, I could forget
about reality.
Since I was a little child, I had
been playing video games. My mom offered me a game where the protagonist hunted
vampires, ghouls and others creatures into a Gothic Castle. And right after
launching the game, I was amazed by its incredible beauty, which was
characterized by the darkness surrounding the castle, its architecture and the
fact that even if it was dirtied by the blood of those creatures, it remained
astonishing. So ever since the day, I'd been looking for this same feeling in
any game that I played. But for some reason, that I couldn't explain, something
was always missing. I couldn't tell what, but every time I wandered in those
castles, I killed those monsters, it didn't feel the same. I'm not a troubled
person; I'm just yearning for beauty.
When I was outside, in the
real world, everything seemed rotten. The people were tainted in black, water
was strained by a black miasma and the atmosphere was almost toxic. I've never
found in reality anything comparable to what I experienced in that game, that
day, and I was on the verge of giving up. Maybe it would be better to be
swallowed by reality, and forget about that stupid bliss once and for all. I
will try one last time, and if the result is the same as the previous tries,
then I would end everything.
I heard from a friend about a
new game that was supposed to have the kind of setting I'd been searching, and
it was delivered with virtual reality equipment, so I thought it would be worth
the try for a last round.
I went to several shops, but
the game was already sold out. I tried any place that could sell it, but it was
too late. I sat at the entrance of the last shop I visited, depressed and drawn
out. Maybe it was a sign, it was destiny. Suddenly, I heard some footsteps next
to me. I glanced at my right, and I saw a tall man wearing a long black
raincoat and who was hiding his face behind a black scarf which was almost
touching the ground. I tried to run away from him but he interrupted my escape
with a loud:
-Hey you !
I was instantly frozen. He
said loudly, with a voice coming out of the grave:
-I might have the thing you're
looking for.
I turned to him and replied :
-How do you know I'm looking
for something ?
I couldn't tell if he was
smiling and grinning because of his scarf, but strangely, it was as if it
wasn't his mouth when he was talking. His voice seemed to come from another
place. He answered :
-Well you're sitting in front
of a videogames store, and I saw you going in many other shops like this one,
and since I know that one game was just released a few hours ago … I suppose
you're yearning for it.
He opened his bag and took out
one copy of the game. It made me angry, he was surely teasing me, I grumbled :
-If you're doing this to mock
me, you're the worst person on Earth.
-You're jumping to conclusions
my dear. I'm giving it to you. I got one for free due to a mistake of a seller
so … I don't need it.
He handed the game to me. At
first, I was suspicious of that man who was covering his face, but rapidly,
temptation overwhelmed me and I snatched it away from his hand. I examined the
game from every angle, and I noticed that the virtual reality equipment was not
the usual color, it was red. Sensing it was a fake, it tried to complain to the
mysterious guy but when I looked up, he was gone. I checked the whole street,
but he was nowhere to be found. I sighed and I went back home, with a
persistent feeling of betrayal.
I entered my decayed house in
a flash, quickly said hello to my mom and locked myself into my room. I threw
the game on my bed and jumped on the chair in front of my desk. I switched on
my laptop and searched on the internet about that mysterious version the
strange guy gave me. But nothing about it, I was in front of a sea of mystery.
I turned my seat and watched
motionless the game for a few minutes. I didn't know what to do. What if it was
bugged? I could end up being hurt. But what if it was a safe version of the
game, maybe it was only a color swap … I decided to put it under my bad, and I
would make a decision tomorrow.
At dinner, I stayed silent
while my family had been talking about stupid topics like what happened at
their work or how my brother's grades were. They were so empty, I was about to
puke. I left the dinning-room without saying a word, and once I was safe in my
room, I laid in my bed. My family was composed of empty shells for me, they had
no meaning. Once I would have the power to run away from this place, I would do
it, to explore the world. Found what I'd been looking for all this time. I
couldn't wait to explore those old castles all around the world, where I could
imagine myself as a king or a hunter fighting evil creatures trying to destroy
humanity. It is quite paradoxical from a human who despised humanity, but
humans are all like that, full of paradoxes. With all these images in my mind,
I gathered my courage and took the game under my bed, opened the package,
uploaded the game on my computer and put on the virtual reality in my
equipment.
I heard it was a new kind of
equipment that enabled the mind of the play to be in the game, as if he was
feeling everything when he was touching things, breathing the air and interacting
with people; It was labeled as the next step into a brighter future for games
lovers.
Once I switched on the
equipment, it advised me to lay in my bed. I did as it told me. Then it
analyzed my brain, guessing what kind of avatar I wanted. After a few seconds,
I saw the results of that search. It was a huge man who was wearing a black
coat made of leather, he was also wearing a big hat hiding the top of his face
and finally, he was carrying a huge whip, my favorite weapon in video games.
The game asked me if I was
ready. I answered I was, I'd always been ready. I heard a noise and I felt
something picking my forehead. Everything became dizzy, and without really
realizing it, I passed out.
When I opened my eyes, I was
standing in a gigantic hall. It was a castle's hall. It had a black throne
which was standing firmly at the end of the room, and the candelabras were
lightening the room. I observed my surroundings, and I noticed many
stained-glass windows that were sumptuous. They were showing scenes of demons
fighting humans in a battlefield tainted by blood, devoured by fire and covered
by ashes. Such a show delighted me. Suddenly, I saw ashes falling around me, I
looked up and I remarked clouds, the ashes were falling from them. Quickly, the
floor was covered by it, as if it was a grey snow. I walked towards the door,
while my footprints were rapidly erased by the ashes. With all my strength, I
opened the huge door that was separating me from this virtual outside world. As
soon as I saw what was standing in front of me, I was overwhelmed by happiness,
surprise and excitement. It was a permanent full moon, and the ground was dead,
filled with corpses of previous players. I looked at the trees; they were all
burned by the atmosphere, by the darkness that was mixing in the air. I
explored the area. I watched players fighting giant werewolves or powerful
vampires, I didn't want to play with them, I wanted to keep this moment of
bliss for myself. As I slowly walked into a path surrounded by trees with black
leaves, I noticed on my right, far away from me, a black shadow with white
eyes. I thought it was glaring at me. At first, I tried to run toward it, but
the distance between us didn't seem to reduce. In fact it was the total
opposite; it was growing. After a few tries, I gave up and did as if it wasn't
there.
After a while, I ended up in a
strange place. I wasn't marked on the game's map. It was a giant plain full of
red poppies and in its center there was a big tree with ropes hanging on its
branches. I slowly marched to it, to get closer, because I wanted to admire it.
Once I was near it, I touched the tree trunk. It was cold, so cold that I
thought it would freeze my arm instantly. I backed off, and I heard behind me:
-
Hey you!
I turned my back. There was a
girl waving her arms to get my attention. I didn't want to be disturbed. I was
about to tell her not to disturb me but I was interrupted by the sight of the
black shadow behind her. It was creepily smiling at me. I didn't know what to
do, I couldn't look away. I closed my eyes. And after that, I couldn't remember
what happened. But when I came back to my sense, the girl's throat was in my
hands. She was trying to scream but no sound could come out from her mouth. Her
pale skin was reddening as I was keeping her from breathing. Black smoke was
coming out of my mouth. I was observing myself killing that girl. And after
playing with her for a while, I ended it. I broke her neck, and a huge
"snap" echoed in the whole area. She was dead; I was sitting on her
belly. I laughed, like I never did before, I was a real madman. And then I came
back to me sense. I screamed, I screamed so loudly that I might have awoken the
dead. But I realized it was just a game so it might be an event made up by the
developpers. I was just scared because it felt way too real. I wasn't used to
it yet. I decided to log out.
I took off the virtual reality
equipment, I wiped off my sweat. I took a huge breath and then I tried to
sleep, to forget about what just happened.
I woke up around lunch,
because it was a day off from school. I went downstairs. I sat at the table; my
family was quietly eating while watching the TV. It was unusual. I looked at
the news too, and at the same time I put some strawberry jam on my toast. The
anchorman was talking about a strange murder in the neighboring city. I was
about to swallow my whole bread when I saw the face of the victim. Because of
the shock, I dropped my toast, which obviously felt on the jam side. She had
the face of the player I killed last night. My blood instantly boiled up and I
felt a river of cold sweat in my back. My lips were trembling and no sound
could escape from my mouth. Hopefully my family was too busy watching the TV to
notice the crisis I was going through.
The police told the news that
they didn't know about the cause of her death but their main priority is a
malfunction of her virtual reality equipment. Yes, it's surely a malfunction.
It's not possible I couldn't have killed her; it was just a game after all.
I stood up and left the table,
I took my coat and went outside to lighten my mind from those thoughts.
I walked near the river that
was cutting in two my city. It seemed black to me, as always. But the
distasteful noises of the people surrounding me were louder than usual. They seemed
to be spilling their nonsense at me, taking the form of black matter which was
gradually covering my face. I sat on a bench, just in front of the river. On
the opposite side, there was the shadow from the game. It was looking at me
with the same creepy smile that I couldn't forget. Was he laughing at me? I
wonder. And from time to time, the girl's dying face surfaced in my eyes,
forcing me to bear her death for the end of time. I had to go back in the game,
to see if it was really me who did that.
I ran with all my might to my
house, I rushed to my room, plunged in my bed, put on the equipment and started
the game.
I started at the same place.
At first, I felt anxiety, as if I didn't know what to do. I awkwardly looked
around me, to see if the shadow was there. With no one around. I decided to
explore the game a bit more, and also to stay away from the place with the
three, in order to prevent any further incident. I meandered in the various
places that the game provided. In normal times, I would have been blown out by
those castles, churches or graveyards. But I couldn't enjoy them. Worst, I
couldn't set my eyes on something without thinking about the girl from last
time. After a few hours in the game walking around, I saw a group of players
facing a giant monster. It was a kind of dragon which had its body made of
bones and flesh from killed players.
I sat on a rock and I watched
them fighting that abomination, waiting from one side to win over the other. At
one moment, one of the players stepped aside from the fight, took a flask and
drank its whole content. After that, he checked around him and was startled
when he saw that someone was sitting on a rock. With his big blue eyes, he
approached me and asked:
-
How long have you been here?
-
Around ten minutes. Why do you ask?
-
Because you didn't appear in my
in-game map … Are you wearing a cloak of invisibility?
-
Of course not, I just started the
game.
-
I see …. But you don't have a
faction?
-
A … What?
-
You know, you've to pick one when you
start the game. The night runners or the moonlight eaters.
-
… Never heard of that …
-
Well … But why …
He threw his questions at me
like a spear that a warrior was throwing at his enemy. I wanted him to stop but
he wasn't even listening to me. I told him, I told him so many times that my
throat started to get dry. Black miasma was spilling from his mouth, and it was
slowly covering and devouring my shoes. I wanted him to shut up. I wanted to
shut him. I wanted to …
Everything turned to black
once again. Like last time, when I opened my eyes, my body was moving on its
own. The guy was in front of me, he was coughing blood. I looked down and I saw
my arm piercing his torso, and I was holding the heart of his avatar in my
hand. I wanted to kill him. He was screaming. Loudly. He was way too loud. I
heard something whispering in my ear. I couldn't hear what It was saying. The
black shadow was here, smiling as always, but the distance seemed to have faded
a bit. Unconsciously, I smiled too and I crushed his heart with my bare hands.
When I regained the control of my body, I threw the corpse of the young warrior
away from me. His blue eyes were still looking at me, still begging me to spare
him. I looked at my hand, which was covered with his blood. At that moment, I
felt bliss. That was the thing that was missing all this time. I had to take
the life of two persons to understand it. I wanted to have to power of life and
death. I wanted to be the Grim reaper which delivered its judgment upon
mortals. I tasted the blood of my victim; I spread it all over my face and I
laughed, overcame by joy. Finally, I had achieved what I was looking for, by
loosing at the same time my sanity. The shadow was still looking at me, but it
seemed that its smile became wider for some reason.
The following morning, I woke
up early and I went out while everyone was still asleep. I ate my breakfast on
the road and I spend my time walking in a park. My mind was blank; I couldn't
gather my thoughts after what happened yesterday. I killed someone, willingly.
I enjoyed it; I felt bliss when I saw life escaping his body and his face. The
shadow asked me if I was happy, and I said yes. It was beautiful. That corpse
fit perfectly in the poppies, with his blood tainting them. It could have been
a perfect painting. I felt like an artist. I wanted to do it more; I wanted to
fill this plain with corpses. They would have been my tin of paints. I looked
at my hands; they were still soaked in blood. It was now my purpose. I would
leave this world filled with black and I would create my own world, tainted in
red.
During the following days, I
observed how the community of the game was reacting to my killing spree. Many
thought it was a fake, that it was troll made up by the developers of the game.
But the police was very serious about it. They exploited many lead but they
were still clueless. They thought a killer was using the game as a decoy to
kill those people. I also learned that the cause of the death of the player I
killed was an exploded heart. They couldn't explain why they died. They tried
to find some clues in the recordings made by the game's producer, but they
found themselves unlucky when they saw that the recordings of the game weren't
exploitable, with the screen being black for fifteen minutes, the whole
duration of the two abductions and killings. Those who believed that the killer
existed considered it as a shadow, a being that nothing could catch and who would
continue to do as he wanted to. They were right. I would do as I wanted to. I
was the Grim reaper, the one that had the decision over life and death. A few
fled from the game but those who stayed were at my mercy. From time to time, I
sat next to the gargoyle who watched over the game's world. It was located at
the top of the highest tower of the black castle, the greatest castle of the
game. Nobody could access it but for some reason, I could. It was where my
throne was located, the throne of my kingdom, where many people were unaware of
my very existence. Cascade with blood mixed with water were flowing from its
windows, crows were flying around me as if they knew I was the ruler of death
in this place. The castle had numerous stained-glasses which portrayed Death,
and numerous statues inside it were representing also Death. Since I was Death
itself, I considered those things were made after my image, to honor my power.
I looked at all these players
that were living innocently, trying to ignore my presence, unaware of the
pressure I was applying on them. I could crush them as if they were ants. Now It
was time to take action. I couldn't wait any longer; I had to satisfy that urge
for beauty, my hunger for my own art.
I was standing in the darkness
of one of the many alleys of the capital city. Many dead hobos laid next to me;
I could smell their stench even outside of the game, even though it was
impossible. I was observing a group of players; they were saying goodbye to
each others. I waited for one of them to be isolated. After a few minutes which
seemed hours to me, One of them remained a bit in the city and then probably
went to the black mines to kill some monsters. I followed that fool. The road
to the black mines was surrounded by huge mountains that looked like huge
monsters pointing teeth at us, to eat us. For this reason, many people were
scared and didn't want to go there. So hopefully, nobody was here to disturb
our dance. The warrior was standing in front of the entrance of the mine,
probably checking his equipment before hunting. I stopped a few meters behind
him. The player heard my footsteps crackling on the gravels. The warrior turned
to me. He asked me what I was doing here. I didn't answer, not that I didn't
want to, but it would be useless because he would have got the answer a few
moments after that. I came closer, He stepped back, not sure of what I was
about to do. I stretched my hand to him and said, with a calm and gentle voice:
-
Come to me; come with me to your
grave.
-
What the …
He didn't finish his sentence.
A flash blinded him and when he recovered his eyesight, he was in the middle of
the field of poppies. He seemed afraid, he looked all around him. Then he saw
the tree. Dozens of corpse were hanging on it. He fell on his back, his whole
body was shaking, and he couldn't control himself. I was glaring at him, disgusted
by what I was seeing. The fierce warrior I followed a few moments ago turned
into a coward, about to piss himself. I glancing behind me; the shadow was
here, observing the scene. Strangely, the more people I was killing, the more
it got closer to me. But the less it was smiling at the same time. I wanted to
impress it, make it smile again. So I tried to kill more and more people, I
wasn't a problem since nobody could find me. My eyes turned red, black miasma
was escaping again from my mouth. With a sepulchral voice, I said:
-
Let's dance.
He screamed in horror as I
threw myself at him. I was now a monster that nobody could control anymore. My
hand went through his throat, and I tore everything I could. He could no longer
shout. I attacked his mouth; his ears. The only organs that were not torn were
his eyes, which were hoping that I was just a nightmare. But it was reality. My
own reality. The one I created far from that wicked world. He was coughing
blood. I decided it was time to finish my duty. I stabbed through his chest,
and like I did during the previous murders, I crushed his heart; it was the
trademark of the reaper. He died instantly, and so to complete my piece of art,
I hanged his dead corpse on one branch of the tree like the previous one. I
glanced at the shadow, which came closer, and now it was next to me.
Was it treating me as equal?
Was it acknowledging me? I didn't know at the time. It stood there, looking at
my piece of art. It sighed and mumbled:
-
Disappointing.
I was broken in pieces. The
shadow, which I wanted to be recognized by, threw me away. I was trash now,
everything I did until now was rejected and treated as meaningless by him. I
thought I was like a god but in the end I was nothing. I was wrong. No, it
couldn't be that way. It was wrong. I was the Grim Reaper, I was the God of
Death. I felt my blood boiling inside, I was about to exploded. It was time to
get rid of it, I didn't need hit anymore. My eyes turned red once again, and I
tried to move but the shadow let out a loud scream, so strong so I was unable
to move. It then smiled creepily at me, and before disappearing, I whispered:
-
Game over.
And then it vanished. I was
able to move only after its departure but I didn't try to pursue it. I didn't
have to be afraid by such a thing. It wasn't even real. I was proud of my
creation, and now I could sleep in peace, to find the missing piece tomorrow. I
log out from the game and I fell asleep immediately.
When I woke up, it seemed as
if I had the taste of blood in my mouth. It was very early in the morning, so I
went out of my room and I ate my breakfast while my family was still sleeping.
I sat at the table, and while listening to the radio, I ate bread with ham and
bacon. At first, I wasn't paying attention to what the speaker but then I heard "Player Killer", it was the
nickname the media was giving me, so I rose the volume a bit to listen to him.
At first, it was just telling that a new victim had been discovered during the
night but then it revealed that someone who had video footage of the killings sent
it to the police, without asking for any rewards, so now that the police had the
face of the in-game character of the murderer, it would be easier to find the
real killer. I stood up, turned off the radio and then, I fell on my knees,
containing my screams of anger and distress. How? It was impossible for
something like that to happen. I was invisible, invincible, nobody could track
me. I was backed up in a corner, with wolves waited to kill me and to share my
remains. I had to run away, run away somewhere I would be impossible to find. I
rushed to my room, grabbed a few things, including my game and the equipment,
and put them into a bag. I didn't care about my family, they were worthless
worms, and they didn't care about me either, so it was convenient for both
sides.
I opened the front door, took
a last glance at my collapsing house and I walked towards the unknown, where no
one could find me.
I precociously wandered in the
city, watching behind me if I was followed. The black atmosphere around was way
thicker than usual. Black miasma was now covering the buildings and was falling
on the bystanders, who didn't notice it. I felt surrounded, pressured,
stressed. It was like they were watching me, judging me, they knew it was me.
My eyes were fixed on the ground; I didn't want to look at them. Their glances
were tearing my entire body. The Grim Reaper looked pitiful; he was nothing
once he was in that world, outside of his reality. After only two hours, I needed
a break. I sat at the terrace of a bar and I glanced at the emptiness. I had to
realize it. It was in my blood. I was no longer human. I had to get rid of my
former self; I wanted to stay in that world of mine. For now, it wasn't
possible. But after only two hours, I was experiencing withdrawal symptoms. It
was calling me; I was addicted to that feeling, that bliss. It was
disappointing, I couldn't care less. I had to satisfy myself; I had to appease
that hunger.
I rose from the chair at the
very moment the bartender came to ask what I wanted to drink. I didn't reply
and went away. I looked for an internet café. After thirty minutes of a fairly
long search, I finally found one. I asked if they had the game on their
computers. The tenant answered yes. They were providing one person's room so
that people could play in peace. I rented one. I sat in front the Pc. I was
looking at it with childish impatience. I connected my equipment; I put it on
and as usual passed out while the game started.
When I opened my eyes, I was
sat on the throne of the black castle. The statues that used to represent me
were tainted in black, and they were faceless. I looked at them; it seemed
someone wanted to send me a message. I glared at the stained-glass, and they
were all broken. Something was trying to destroy my world, but it wasn't
possible, I was the God of Death. I got out of the castle and tried to warp
into my secret place, but I couldn't achieve it. I tried several times but
still nothing. I was angry, so to calm myself I decided to attack in a random
manner anyone who dared to cross my road.
After a long exploration of
the world, I came to that conclusion. The world was empty; there was no one in
it. Why? I couldn't tell. The monsters were gone too. I wandered in a destroyed
town, and I understood that right now, I was that town. The flames that
devoured it where my hunger and the fact that one was here to extinguish it, it
was an echo of my own loneliness.
I was about to leave the city
when I saw the shadow, standing a few meters away from. I pointed my finger at
him to cry out my rage but he snapped his fingers, and I immediately passed
out.
I woke up, and I was laid
among the poppies. I stood up; my tree was there, waiting for me. The shadow
was under it, touching it. I tried to run towards it to get rid of it, once and
for all, but suddenly, the tree started to burn. Immediately, I forgot about
the shadow. I rushed to my piece of art, and I tried to save it. The flames
were eating it, rapidly; nothing could be done about it. It hurted my hands; I
tried to vaporize the flames with my whip, my clothes. I was desperate; I was a
child trying to get back his stolen toy. It was too late. Falling branches were
crushing the poppies, which started to catch fire too. The corpses smelt like
Bacon and I was surrounded by fire. The shadow was smiling at me, at my
weakness, at my helplessness. I was full of rage. I wanted to destroy it. I run
to hit it and everything went black again. Literally, it went black. The tree,
the poppies, all gone. I was floating in a king of subspace. I screamed:
-
Come on! I'm Death! I'm not afraid of
you.
A voice replied:
-
You should be. I'm the one who
granted you that power. And I'm the one who will take it from you.
-
What?! What are you …
The shadow, now with a
gigantic size, appeared in front of me. Black smoke escaped from his body, and
it quickly surrounded me. It caught me between his two hands, and before
throwing me into his mouth, it said:
-
Thanks for the meal.
I swallowed me, but I was
still conscious. I was plunging in an abyss filled with darkness. But I knew I
would escape it. Well that's what I thought at first. Black miasma appeared
from nowhere, and it devoured me. It was painful, so painful that I couldn't
prevent myself from screaming. I was begging for help, my family, the shadow,
anyone. But no one heard it. As it was about to eat my upper-half, I heard the
shadow laughing. From killer, I became the killed and indeed, it was funny.
Overwhelmed by madness, I laughed like a madmen and when it ate the last bit of
me, everything stopped. The Grim Reaper was no more. That was the end of my
wicked reality.
-
Did you tell him the game's servers
were shut down to investigate on the killer?
-
No, I thought it would be funny if he
paid for nothing. But since he didn't come back to complain, he must have found
another game so …
-
You're such a bad person.
-
I know.
As the two employees were
talking, a sinister figure entered the internet café. They were too busy talking
so they didn't pay attention to him. He passed next to them, and went to one of
the rooms. He opened the door. A player was there; his head was against the
keyboard of the computer, with still the equipment on. His arms were hanging
and he was about to fall on the floor. The stranger came closer, searched in
the player's bag and took out a game from it. Then he removed the equipment
from the player's head. Black tears were flowing from his eyes and droll mixed
with blood and black miasma was escaping from his mouth. The stranger glanced
at him, and murmured:
-
Disappointing but Funny at least …
Well … let's find someone else.
The stranger went out
of the room, and also of the café while the two employees were still talking.
Once outside, he waited a bit, to finally hear a loud scream escaping from the
café. He laughed and smiled like the shadow, and then he disappeared among the
mob, waiting for a new prey to entertain him.Fin.
